Tango Isn’t for Everyone
When someone expresses an interest in learning tango, I
often hesitate. I know tango looks fun, sexy and beautiful, but it can
be a serious commitment. It’s a hardcore pursuit. Yes, some people
casually dance tango as a hobby. But here’s the reality: tango is like a
vampire that bites into your heart and changes your soul forever. Once
it bites you, you will be seduced into an endless quest that steals your
time, money, mind – and your heart. Therefore, be warned…
You better LOVE technique. If you have a passion for
nitty gritty, detailed technique that teaches nuances of movement,
leading/following, connection, posture and body organization, then you
will be captivated by tango. The amount of technique to learn will
deeply humble you. If you just want to have fun, remember that your
partner’s idea of having fun is usually based on doing this
skillfully. Most tango dancers don’t just “play around”.
Technique is what makes the dance feel amazing to your partner. If you care about that, awesome! If you don’t, maybe partner dancing isn’t for you….
It takes money. If you aren’t investing in truly
learning tango, you probably won’t be dancing much or enjoying it when
you do. Private lessons, workshops, tango shoes, milongas, practicas,
outfits – it adds up quickly and it’s quite addicting. You’ll drop
serious money on private lessons. I know a guy who blew his annual tango
budget by February. Tango is like a heroin habit. Only death and
paralysis can stop it.
It’s a long commitment. Tango is not a dance that
gets mastered in six months or five years. It’s not a “once a week” kind
of a dance. There’s no “low hanging fruit” in tango. This is a
multi-layered skill that endlessly unfolds for those who seek
its elusive mastery. You’ll think you learned a move – and then you’ll
spend years learning how to do it correctly. Ochos are only easy when
you’re doing them wrong.
And it’s intimate. A good dance for me goes like
this. “Hi, I’m Karen”. Seconds later, I have melted into his body and my
lips are barely inches from his. It’s four legs and one heart – and we
are slowly stripped into total vulnerability as we unveil ourselves
through a 9-minute exploration of one another’s skills, potential and
expression.
By the end, we know each other in ways we may only intuitively
understand. I know if he embraces a woman with tenderness, command or
caution. I sense whether he seeks the heart, mind or body of a woman
first. I know whether he thinks or feels more. I feel where he is
confident, where he is shy and where he is selfish. I sense what he
hungers for and what he fears. I know whether he sees me as a conquest, a
collaborator or an executor of his command. I know if he is a
risk-taker, an explorer or an inventor. I know if he approaches tango as
an artist, an engineer or an architect. I know if he is a witty
conversationalist or a curious listener.
I discover what makes him sexy, beautiful and profoundly captivating – even when all he is doing is “just dancing”.
Tango can be insanely difficult. Expensive. Toilsome. Humbling. And deeply unmasking.
It’s not for everyone. For some people, it’s not for them
“right now”.
When I began, I was told that
I didn’t find tango. Tango found me.
Let tango find you. And be ready when it does, for tango is a
relentless thief. It will gently swipe away your time, money and
perhaps your ego – if you have the courage to surrender it. Tango
unmasks our true character, our vulnerabilities, our weaknesses and our
magical unwrapped talents. But only for those willing – and able – to
give tango what it asks of us first.